Friday, June 24, 2005

This is my neighbor John... I have to ask though, where do you get a wife beater this long? I mean seriously. Anyways, so I overhear him talking about the people doing his sprinkling system and he says something like, "I'm so pissed because I have to be here to let these asshole turn on the sprinkling system since they wanted me to just let them into my house. Hell NO! am I letting a bunch of mexicans with a combined IQ of 25 into my brand new home. And then there white manager comes over and states well if you won't let us in you'll have to be home. So I said fine!"

All of this while I am sitting in my lounge chair in my driveway enjoying an ice cold Corona with lime and a book called Angels and Demons. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and I think he heard me. Anyways, I ended up talking to him and finding out he's not such a bad guy but man is his attire hilarious!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


So I bet you are looking at the address thinking... hmm.. is this the right blog? Yeah I decided it was time for change. Why? Because Change=Good! Nah, I was just bored again at work so I decided to tinker around with this. I think it's pretty neat though, it offers a different look and feel which makes it easier to read the crap that I am writing.

I've been busy today surfing the web and speaking with software developers and I have to say it hasn't been all that bad of a day. Although, that headache I had yesterday seems to have settled to one side of my head. The left, and is positioned right behind my eye. That is never a good thing considering that I stare at a computer screen all day. Eh! No big deal, it's a beautiful day out and I beat the boss in this morning and he's been in a pretty good mood today. Everyday has it's surprises.

However, he has whored my services out today to a buddy of his that does a lot of side stuff for him. Somehow I have become the computer service guy for this other dude who apparently also has a porn addiction. It seems he is having computer problems. Let's see what was the list again:

Windows Media Player won't open my porn..oops I mean video clips.
All kinds of porn pop-ups keep coming up (I know that the ad companies target what you are interested in... hmm, what is the first clue he likes porn?....ANYONE?)
Computer is so "gosh-darn" slow (I can't believe he used those words.. I mean GEE-WIZ!)

So you see, I am off to save another victim of "MBNGL" or for you that don't know that one "Married But Not Getting Laid". It still doesn't make it right to be completely addicted to porno though.

A friend sent this to me. I really don't feel that it needs explanation. It's just funny!

Crazy Reader Email of the Day : Gizmodo

So I read this site everyday that shows gadgets and stuff. Some of it is cool / some not so cool, but all in all it lets me waste a few minutes of everyday. So today I am reading it and this definitely go my attention. If you haven't read the site before the reader is complaining about an earlier post stating that the Queen has bought an IPOD. WHO really cares what the queen bought? But more importantly who cares that someone posted a comment about it and feels the need to retaliate?

Read this! Crazy Reader Email of the Day : Gizmodo

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Equipment Showcase

Equipment Showcase: So I come across this article and in my current state of life it really hit a home run. Errr... wait I hate baseball. Better yet, it was a hole-in-one in my book! ;-) Better no?

I am completely and utterly addicted to golf, and while some might think that is bad. I can think of much worse thinks to be addicted to.. like cigarettes. Wait, I'm a smoker too. Damn it! Alright, well who cares because I love golf. So much so that when I play typically when I get to the last hole I am almost sad that it's over for that round. Unless of course I shot like shit, then typically I just want to break something. But I believe that I truly love it for the challenge and discipline it represents. It is not an easy game at all, and requires practice and study to apply the proper techniques to your own physical abilities.

Anyways, that being the preface, I have always wanted my own Golf Cart. I mean, straight up, customized and just ridiculous! You know something that makes the old hacks on the course think, "DAMN PUNKS!" and something that makes the others just stop in horror and amazement that someone would do something like that to a golf cart. I was thinking something like this. Now I think you understand. So yeah but I guess some of the things holding me back are:

My Fiance
How gay does it feel to pull up to a Golf course and unload your silly looking cart?
Can I install nitrous? radio? Custom GPS?

You know the normal things holding all guys back from such an investment. (I say investment in the most sarcasim there is.) But if golf courses were to adopt this Segway GT for $5000 / cart with some GPS, I would definitely be pumped. Sounds like a fun way to suck at golf!


I haven't really felt up to snuff all week. I was dragging ass on Monday and then somehow got out of doing real work on Tuesday by driving all the way back and forth to the west coast of Michigan. I ended up golfing yesterday afternoon which was fun but my golf buddy and I got into the beers on the back nine and ended up loosing interest in the game. Anyways, I felt pretty crappy all evening like I was getting sick. Today, however, it's not so much that I feel like I am getting sick but more like my head is swelling. The area around my temples is throbbing, kinda like when you chew gum for too long and your jaws start to ache. Well, that's what it feels like? I am not really sure when it started... probably this morning when first thing my boss called a closed door meeting with a co-worker and me. How annoying?! I mean seriously I wasn't even getting settled into a nice day of finding ways to slack when...BAM! 8:40am "Hey why don't you find Bob and come into my office?" (By the way Bob is not his name... in case you didn't know that, it's just an example.) So I go on a hunt for Bob... his office.. nothing... the warehouse.. nothing. I can't seem to find him anywhere and between the fact that the place is no longer that busy or big you would think this wouldn't be a challenge. Oh! Of course... he's having a meeting with the Porcelin Princess. So I wait.... and wait.. then I decide how stupid I must look and feel standing outside of the warehouse bathroom waiting. So I go back to my office.

As I sit there pondering the fact that I was just waiting for a co-worker outside the bathroom door while he did his business, my desk phone rings. Who else would it be, my Boss! Of course! "Perhaps you didn't understand that I wanted to meet now!", I tried in the most polite way to explain that I was waiting on Bob and that I would come as soon as I informed him. Although, as you can imagine I was infuriated and holding back the truth that was swelling inside of me.

Finally, Bob exited the bathroom where I told him to come to this sudden meeting. The closed door meeting was completely unproductive with ideas spurting out of every angle. Same stuff I have heard before about a vested interest in the organization and whether or not I am on-board for the long haul, longer days 10 to 12 hours, bullshit, bullshit... UGH!! To top it all off, the dog was in the office the whole time... even when the boss tried to kick him out. (I believe that previously I have discussed the specialness of this mutt, see previous articles)

Just to recap, the dog is dying, and while this would normally be unfortunate, it's just plain disturbing here. The dog has some mouth fungus and cancer and has been pretty bad for the last 6 months. Also, he stinks... and not like dog... like feces and urine ..... and DEATH! It's horrible it's like spending time around a dying creature... actually it isn't like, it is!

So looking back on my throbbing head... I think that sums it up! At least I know where it came from... now I just have to figure out how to get rid of it.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Hot and Muggy

So things were so hot and muggy yesterday and today that it was actually causing hardware problems. Get this, obviously on an 85 or 90 degree day we should keep the back doors and front doors to the whole warehouse and office open to allow adequate breathing of the building and enjoy the wonderful weather. NO! Damn it, I mean I was sweating like a fat mexican thinking about eating a tasty 1 lb burrito in the baja while running a marathon.

So because we like to save on air conditioning costs here, we leave the place wide open. When I say open I mean not only to heat, but to pests, like bugs, mice, and shit. So while dying of heat exhaustion with my airconditioning unit turned on high, I also get to work with flies buzzing around and sometimes even a bee or two. Goodie!

(Just for reference sake I included a picture of the air conditioning unit... and OH YEA! it's high end baby! Also not mine.. I stole it from a co-workers office. See even I save on Air Conditioning.)

No I am sure you get my point. So meanwhile trying to focus on getting things done I needed to print a report. Too bad because of the humidity our already decrepid HP Laserjet 4550n will not print because earlier it apparently ate some a sheet after the moist paper went through it an wrinkled.

Sidenote: A little history on the printer.
The HP Laserjet 4550n has been here the length of my career and probably longer. It prints several hundred pages per day... although that number is probably smaller now as it barely works. The first thing to go on it was the actual paper tray. After at which my boss asked for a price on new ones. By the way, this was 2 years ago. Then we had to load the paper in through the front tray (You know the one for legal paper). Yeah that works like a charm.. if by working I mean sucking in 3 or more sheets everytime it prints. This worked for the company for about another year before the printer started to print lines down the paper. So now imagine sending out invoices to customers from wrinkled, lined, spotted laserjet prints. Yep, and over the course of those two years I was asked for pricing on printers at least 20 times. For which the first 10 I resent my original quote and the next ten I copied a newer updated one. Each time I would get asked which one I recommended and why we couldn't just pick up a Deskjet or something for like $200. I attempted in a polite and calm way to explain that we use a "Networked" printer that requires the whole "Company" print to it, therefore a piece of dogshit deskjet that prints 1 page per hour "WON'T WORK!" Go back to your PORN and leave the technical shit to me before you hurt yourself!
He actually about 1 month ago got pricing from someone outside of our company, as if I wasn't giving him accurate information. Again, as always, I was asked which one I recommended and I replied with my appropriate answer. And THE PRINTER still sits there!

So, anyways, the printer just doesn't work. It's not productive, professional, or even functioning as designed anymore and everyone has gone back to using Deskjets that are either out of, or almost out of ink. Wow!

So that was yesterday, but today is even more special. I know what you are thinking... How can it get better?

You know I wonder the same thing on my way into work. Actually, I wake up, thinking "Oh yippie! Another fun filled day at the office! OOOoooo... I wonder what is in store for me today? Will the boss be pissed because he didn't get any, or will he have some new wacked out idea he won't follow through on?... Hmm.. I know it's only 70 degrees out now, but should I wear a bathing suit under my work clothes so I can hose down at the neighboring office at lunch?

You see NOW the office is so HOT that not even the bugs can live inside... as a matter of fact.. I'm starting to feel faint and I don't know if I can make it to the kitchen to get more water to replenish what I have sweat out... UGH!

Monday, June 13, 2005


So I am reading my regular news outlets using this news thing I have discovered called RSS. RSS stands for something like "Really Simple Syndication / Rich Site Summary" something of that sort. Anyways, it basically takes the news sites and loads them faster because it is just text in an XML format. Anyways, back to my point... I come across this link and I just have to ask myself... WHY?

Don't get me wrong.. I thought about buying it just for the wow factor and how much of a conversation peice it would be.