Monday, May 23, 2005

Foreign Land

Today I witnessed something truly amazing.. the bosses wife (Known from here on out as Evil Hag) ventured into unknown territory today. In the 4 years of slavery I have given to this company, I have never, not once, see the evil hag enter this vast place. Usually she just controls the activity from atop her evil office without any understanding or outlook as too what despair and destruction she is causing. Almost as amazing as her Lewis & Clark like expedition was the fact that she was still here at almost 4pm. And it's Monday...

So I just smacked myself to make sure this is all real. I guess so. The Evil Hag has finally entered the Warehouse of our office. This foreign land to her extends about 3/4 of the whole entire 17,000 sq. ft. building, which as you can imagine is pretty hard to avoid.. especially for 4 years. We must be approaching the end of days.

I sit here, drinking my Wendy's © Chili from the container because we don't have any spoons and the fork I was trying to use wasn't working out. Topping off the perfection of this Monday morning to align itself with all stereotypical Monday mornings was the fact that not only did I forget my golf clubs in my buddy's car this weekend, but after I had made arrangements to pick them up at lunch I was reminded that I agreed to go on a sales call with King Evil Hag himself. SUCK!

So there I was trying to hold back my anger and pray that I would be done with the meeting in time to still meet up with my golf clubs... when he said... well we need to get going it's gonna be about a 45 minute trip. SHIT!! 45 minutes there.. 45 minutes back and who knows how long with his always running late, cocky, lengthy, Tony Hawk looking ass! Sonofabi... I bit my tongue as he came back saying "Oh yeah.. this will be a good time for us to discuss getting some new people and your ideas for the future." UGH!!! As you all know.. I don't want to help with the future here and I will make sure that anyone who knows me never works for this hell hole EVER! So the car drive sucked.. as I had to listen to him discuss how upset he is that his dirty ass dog is not doing so hot.. (At least the dog won't be getting into my F-ing trash anymore, and shitting in the corners of the offices)... then he went on about... his two twins (Stuck up and super loser) going off to college and how he will miss them. I'm thinking "How can you possibly miss your kids.. I mean seriously... you work out at the gym in the morning from like 6 or 7 am until 10am.. then you come to work.. you don't go home until 7pm and your kids have school and sports / dance after that anyways.. I mean what? Are you going to miss the 1 hour maybe while they are doing their homework that you might possibly see them? NAH! Because when you aren't here you are at home working on your laptop wirelessly looking at porn because that's all you can get!"

Wow... it's definitely been a while since I vented... wheeewww at least I blew off some steam.. Anyways.. so today has been almost exactly what I have come to expect from coming back from the weekend. They never cease to amaze me!


At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Evil Hag has too been in the nether regions of the warehouse. How do you think her BAGS of trash make it out the door. And you thought that it was the dog in the warehouse leaving suprises.

At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, in your May report, you never mentioned how the graphic designer quit. AKA, ME.

Everything is great in the new place. FREEDOM!!!!!!!

I guess pretty soon everyone will be gone.
Then there will be peace o earth!!!
Oh and say hi to everyone for me, except my 2 favorite loosers that run the rat trap, sh*t hole.


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